Well, energy. What does energy have to do with Love?
A friend recently asked me "Do you have an opinion on age difference in dating?" My response?
"Love knows no age or number."
When it comes to Love it's not about anything outside of you. It is within. It is your energy. It is where your heart is ready and aligned to interact with next. It is what you're ready for. It is about what is for your highest and best good.
Your highest and best good looks like....
Probably not anything you would imagine. This person whom you attract into your life is precisely who you're meant to dance with now. They may be older, younger, not in the profession you thought your partner would be in, have tattoos, have a dog (you don't like dogs), yadda yadda yadda.
How will you know?
You'll know by how you feel when you're with this person. Are you excited? Intrigued? Do you feel heard? Is there a common exchange of interest between you both? Is there a chemistry, an attraction? It's not always about the physical attraction either - again, energy.
What does energy have to do with Love?
Everything. Energy is nervousness and excitement. Both normal feelings when meeting someone new. But, don't let that hold you back from moving forward. Love is energy. Fear is energy. Energy will also keep you from attracting who you really desire for yourself.
Fear and Love.
Fear and love cannot coexist. When it comes to attracting love and relationship, if you have past pains from previous relationships still in your heart that will prevent you from opening up to another in a healthy way. You might find yourself reaching out for another relationship to heal your broken heart, but chances are that won't last. If you have buried beliefs about Love ("all the good ones are taken", "I'll get hurt again") you'll experience exactly what you believe.
Love is not anything outside of you.
It is about what is within. Heal your heart. Heal your past pains. Transform your buried beliefs. Align your energy with your hearts desire. Sounds more difficult than it really is, but OH, so worth having what your heart and Soul truly desire.
Treat Yourself as You Wish to Be Treated
You attract to you what your energy gives out.
You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself.
How do you treat yourself?
- Are you always the last on your own list?
- How do you talk to yourself? What does that inner voice say to you?
- Does somehow the goals you have for yourself fall to the wayside?
- Do you abuse yourself with overworking, overeating or 'over' anything that makes you feel bad?
When you don’t make yourself a priority, no one else will.
No one can see you as more of a priority or more important than you see yourself. They see what comes from you. They treat you how you treat you. Would you want to attract someone into your life who treated you disrespectfully, didn’t make you a priority, or didn’t have time for you?
Is self care and self love being selfish? No.
Here’s how to shift what you're attracting:
- Show yourself love, compassion, and understanding (for wherever you are right now). Uber self acceptance is where it all begins.
- Give yourself time. Make time to do things you enjoy - writing, yoga, painting, sifting through books at a bookstore, sip coffee or tea at a shop.
- Give yourself what you’re reaching out for another to give you - Love, caring, understanding.
- Honor the commitments you have to yourself. Do you want more exercise, more relaxation time, a vacation, get that office organized, regular time with family and friends? Do it.
Begin treating yourself how you want to be treated and you'll see Love expanding in your life. Don't settle for less than what you desire - "The One" is out there waiting for you!
"You accept the love you believe you deserve."
Want to know what will knock your energy out of alignment with attracting the one?
Settling for less than you really desire and going on dates with just anyone to get out of the house or for a free drink or free meal. No judgment here – I’ve done it and learned from it!
You want to know how to prepare for "the one"? It is NOT going out with just anyone!
Intention trumps action.
I’m all about exploring and seeing if there is chemistry but, if they have qualities on your “no way” list or you’re simply not feeling it then don’t waste your time or theirs!
How you behave and treat others is or will be mirrored back at you - in the dating process or in another area of your life (some call it Karma or law of attraction).
If you're spending your time and energy with someone you know isn't what you desire, you're sending the message to the Universe that this is 'good enough', aligns you with this energy, and prevents what is really meant for you to find its way to you.
I know being alone can feel terrible at times (physically and emotionally!), but it's in the times you spend alone where you can heal from your past and prepare yourself to become the person you want to be with!
If you’re finding it difficult to be alone with yourself, how can you expect to attract someone into that same space and energy?
Sabrina experienced a HUGE change in who she was attracting.
“Since connecting with you and putting your guidance into practical use I have taken on an entirely different approach to dating and it has yielded AMAZING results! Things are looking up. Each time the date gets better!”
Work on you. Become your own best company. Tap into your creative, playful side. Do the things you’ve wanted to do. A woman with a life outside her work creates a fire within and a life full of passion and excitement. When you’re full within, you have so much more to share with another. And that in itself is attractive to others.
"No one can deny you or grant you anything. It all comes to you by virtue of your vibration." ~ Abraham
How do you feel when you see a happy couple?
What goes through your mind and body when you see them holding hands, running errands together, sharing PDA, or doing the stuff together that you’re doing alone?
How your body feels and how you react to seeing something you want is a huge clue and indication of how you really feel about love and relationships.
- feel angry or jealous (or both)?
- make fun of them, mumble something to yourself or friend or unconsciously have a negative feeling about what you're observing?
- sense a pit in your stomach; does your chest tighten up?
- feel sad to see happy couples when you’re single?
If you have any of those reactions:
· you might be unconsciously holding onto past pains,
· have deeper fears of getting hurt,
· have a buried belief that you can’t have what they have
All causing your heart to be unknowingly closed down to love.
When I first introduced Fia-Lynn into my love coaching program she was obsessive about finding love, had pains from her past holding her back, and attracting men who were similar to her past relationships. She was ready to change what she was experiencing!
After going through my coaching program, she says:
"My Entire Life is in the Vibration of Love!" Before working with you and your program I felt a neediness around love and had a very hard time being alone. And I couldn't attract the type of guy that I really wanted to be with. Dating was a very frustrating and exhausting experience filled with a lot of disappointment. I no longer feel lonely and needy around love, I feel love ALL of the time, no matter who's around or even if I am alone. And I am amazed at who I've attracted into my life!” She is now living with her boyfriend / Twin Flame!
If you’re feeling this way, what can you do?
Have appreciation for the things you see and want, but don’t yet have. Your energetic vibration tells the Universe you like it and this is what I want!
Thoughts and feelings are energy- what you think about and how you feel aligns with similar energy and attracts that. The good news is if you’re seeing happy couples it means you're that much closer to it. But how you feel about it will indicate what is in your way to having it. Pay attention to your feelings and reactions, they are a HUGE clue to identifying what is in your way from having it for yourself.
If what you’re feeling is not in alignment with what you really want to feel and experience; create an inner shift. Act as if what you see is also yours.
It’s all about your inner energy!
You have to Detox and Detach from your past relationship!
Whether your past relationship ended abruptly or it was on a downward spiral for some time, giving yourself time, space and healing is imperative to preparing yourself for the next relationship.
Detoxing and detaching from past relationships is a very important part of the process in attracting your next partner. You don’t want to be bringing your pain, hurt, and broken heart in to the next relationship (some might call it baggage).
Here are some hints you have some detoxing to do:
* You still complain about your ex and how they did you
* When you talk about past relationships you feel anger, sadness, and resentment
* You spend time wondering how things could have been different, what you could have
done differently, or what could have been (dreams lost)
* You catch yourself scheming how to get them back (into your life or how to hurt them)
You’re wasting your precious time and energy looking outward! Real, permanent change happens within.
This is important to know - You attract people into your life to learn about love - love for yourself and love for another.
Love will bring up anything unlike itself.
Holding onto the past through talking about it or having unresolved feelings about it will keep the energy between you both alive. When negative energy is rampant and there is still a connection to another active there is no space for someone new and better for you to come into your life. Sometimes the past pain is very deep and you may not even be aware you're still carrying it around.
Still not over your ex? How to Detox and detach:
There was much to be learned from the past and your experience. Before you jump into that next relationship or hop on the dating wagon, take some time out and understand what you were meant to learn.
Your special someone is waiting for you to do what it takes to align with them and their energy.
- Learn and close that chapter of your life.
- Stop blaming your ex.
- Take responsibility for your participation.
- Identify patterns and change them.
- Forgive them.
- Forgive yourself.
- Detach the negative talk.
- Detox from the negative feelings.
- Give yourself time to heal.
- Get support for the deeper pain and healing you need.
Wikipedia describes Commitment Phobia as:"Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well."
Do you find yourself attracting this "type" of partner and relationship over and over again? You know, the type who seems open and interested in being in relationship until it begins to move toward a committed relationship? You meet, go on a few dates, there is a connection, but it doesn't go further?
"Why did he lead me on?",
"Why can't he just open his heart?",
"Why can't he figure out what he wants?",
"Why won't he tell me how he feels?", and the heart breaking
"Why did he suddenly pull away?"It's not him. It's you. Sorry, darling. You attract based on the vibration and
energy you have within yourself.
Your past pains, childhood wounds and buried beliefs - when you're operating from these places, you'll attract exactly what you're afraid of or don't want. I know. Why would you attract precisely what you're afraid of? Because it's familiar; it's what you know. You either learned it or created it as a protection mechanism.
What you see in another is a mirror reflection of what is going on within you.
Reflecting back to you are your childhood wounds and past pains. They will repeat themselves through relationships and experiences until they are learned. Buried beliefs, until identified and transformed, will continue to attract what is a match to that belief. You must pay attention to your unconscious thoughts and beliefs - you create your life from this space.
Not sure what space you're in? Take a look at what you're experiencing and really dig deep and ask yourself "what are my true beliefs are about love, relationship, money, success?" There lies the power to change your life. Change your thoughts and beliefs - your life changes.
Because of these buried beliefs, what is happening in one area of your life is happening in others - at some form or another. What is happening for you? How is your commitment to health, your workout routine, your business? What is your commitment level to yourself? This other person or situation is reflecting back to you what is going on within you. I know it seems glaringly obvious it's the other person who needs to change. Nope (trust me, I've spent way too much time and energy there). You it's you. You need to heal and change yourself and your experiences and relationships will change. Guaranteed.
If you're currently in a relationship, it is totally possible for that relationship to shift and change. As you heal, you help others heal. As you release the walls you've built to keep yourself "safe", you create a space for others to feel safe too. Don't give up on that relationship just yet. Work on yourself and let go of trying to change another. If you're single, work on yourself - it's the only person you have the ability to change. What keeps you from changing are the deeper fears. What are you afraid of? Afraid to get hurt - Fear of being left - Fear of losing yourself? All typical fears (shhh... I have a secret - everyone has these same fears). Maybe you're afraid of picking the wrong person. How are these fears serving you? Aren't they precisely what is in your way to having what you really want? Love.
What do you really want? You certainly don't intend to search out someone to hurt you, but without healing the underlying wounds and pains, you attract just that - someone to help you heal them.
You can heal and change your experiences - in love, career, money, health. You don't have to attract partners and experienin to help you heal them. It can be done on your own and it can happen quickly. At some point you have to let go of what feels "safe", let those walls down, and open your heart in order to allow yourself to experience something you deeply desire.
Would you rather roll the dice and lose or never roll the dice at all?
It's crazy sometimes - crazy good - to look back on my journey thus far and see the signposts of where healing and holistic therapies were introduced into my life and how they have such an integral part of my life, my career, and who I am.
12 years ago at a large tag sale within my corporate job cafeteria I came across and bought Carolyn Myss cd for $2. I didn’t know who she was or familiar with her work, but I knew I was meant to have these cd’s. Signpost.
These cd’s are now loaded to my iTunes and I just listened to them again in this last month. Powerful teachings. It was time for me to go deeper with the work. This is such exciting stuff to me.
Not long after finding these cd's my first, very powerful spiritual teacher came into my life....all the way from Maryland. Charlie took a temporary consulting position at my previous corporate job in CT. He was given the desk horizontal from me. Signpost.
Charlie came at the perfect time. My 11-year relationship (engaged 3 years – if that isn’t a sign!) ended. I was falling part – although I thought. This wise, older, spiritual man came into my life to guide my vision to see this was actually the beginning.
It was the beginning of everything. I changed the way I looked at things and things changed. I could not do it alone. Alone, my ego would take over and pull me into stories that did not support my growth and expansion.
There was always opportunity for growth and expansion. I began paying attention and seeing the signposts for what they were – people, situations meant to support my growth - and everywhere.
Would you be willing to take a step back and see the signposts popping into your life for your growth and expansion? To feeling happy, free, intentional? What is the other option for you?
I'm grateful for all the players in my life. The boyfriends, the bosses, the friends, and the enemies.
We teach love. Love for another. Love for ourselves.
Now, that is radical.
You have 70,000 thoughts a day. How many of them could you possibly be fully aware of? You only use 10% of our brain's capacity. There is so much more power there you have an opportunity to tap into.
The Secret and Law of Attraction - tools and pathways to tap into the power of your mind. We're are all infinitely connected to a higher source. You create your life from this place - your mind, your beliefs, your thoughts, and what you say.
Just like Reiki uses symbols and intentional energy - behind the meaning, the presence, and the clarity of the practitioner - The Secret and Law of Attraction are symbols and tools for using your mind more deeply. It's not a power or magic outside of you, it's within. Learn to tap into it and your life will change!
Be intentional about what you feed your mind (TV, news, negative conversations), pay attention to your thoughts and words. Notice how your words describe exactly what you're experiencing. It's really the deeper subconscious belief that creates the thought and as you consciously speak it that creates your reality and experience. Not the other way around. It may seem the results - your experiences and circumstances - came first, but it's actually a deeper, buried belief that causes your outter experience.
Deeper beliefs around one's own worth, value, and fear are what the subconscious plays over and over again - in those 70,000 thoughts a day you aren't consciously aware of. Change the deeper beliefs. You must become more aware. Look around, see what isn't working, and pay attention to what you're saying to yourself. Something like "I'm not enough", "It's too hard", "It's impossible", "I'm not safe", "I'll never make it".
“Whether you think you can or can’t…you are right.” ~ Henry Ford. What you speak creates a declaration. Declare what you want even if you don't know how it'll become.
What do you want? Better health, a relationship, more money, better career, more freedom. How do you speak about the things you desire now?
To change your circumstances, experiences, and results, pay close attention to your thoughts and words.
Listen to what you say. When you recognize the negative language, change it. It's powerful! Create a mantra or affirmation to repeat to yourself regularly. "I'm enough", "I am safe", "I am loved", "All I need comes to me with effortlessness and ease."
Say it, feel it, believe it. This process changes the unconscious belief patterns you've created and picked up from others that no longer serves you.
This will transform your life.
Helpful? Leave a comment. What did you take from this?
A few weeks ago an "unknown" call started coming through every night. The message they left was "There is an urgent matter that requires your attention immediately! Call this number and press 1 as soon as you receive this message!" No name, no company, nothing to go on. Scam. Delete.
In my work I've recently become aware of the scam artists preying on singles
through dating sites. These scammers upload attractive (fake) photos,
establish connection through lovely, flattering conversation that pulls on the heart strings, they ask or more photos, and even send cheap gifts - I've even heard people being told they're falling in love with them - before they even meet!
Then, this so called perfect match travels abroad and as they're traveling abroad or on their way to see you they get robbed or sick and need you to send them money. For one person her radar went off and she ceased contact. But that didn't stop them - the "doctors" called her for money. She was harassed by several calls from overseas - which she had to pay for the long distance charges!
I spoke to a gentleman last night who is in his 50's and is continuously approached by younger women who are trying to get out of their home country.
If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. If it feels too good to be true, it just might be.
This is not to scare you off from on line dating. Just be aware. Pay attention to your gut. Don't start a relationship on line. If there is a connection meet sooner rather than later.
And if they live half way across the country why are you looking that far and making those connections? Planning to move? Maybe even afraid of really having what you want. I do believe in fate, destiny, and synchronicity. I also strongly believe that once you've removed all your barriers to love, it'll show up - and probably right around the corner.
Be smart. Keep your heart open and your wallet closed.
The one thing between you and Love, the only thing, is you!
I was a serial monogamist from a very young age - as soon as I was allowed to date. Actually, I didn't really date, I did 'relationship". The shortest was a year and a half (at 15 years old!) and the longest 11 years; nothing really in between.
When the 11 year relationship ended I thought my life was over! I thought "who would marry me now?", "I'm too old". I was depressed - my dreams were no more, I couldn't see a future or any possibilities.
Looking back, that was a pivitol time in my life. It was my rock bottom
and my beautiful beginning. That is where my journey to self-love began
and when I embraced my life path. Which has brough me here - to share with
you the short cuts, fast path, and journey to true love.
It was through the pain of the relationships that I learned love is not
something I could get from anyone else. But, that is what I was doing all
along - trying to get someone to give me love.
To truly discover love, one must heal the blocks and barriers they've built around it. We are all innately love - it's who you are and what you come from.
The only thing between you and Love (and anything you else you desire for
your life) is you!
The blocks I discovered about myself were deep, hidden, and buried. I
protected them from being seen by others - so well that I became unaware of
them. But hiding them didn't make them go away - it's what I operated
from! The insecurities of not being good enough, the fears of being hurt, and
the beliefs I couldn't trust anyone. I attracted relationships from this energy. No wonder they (thankfully!) didn't work out!
It was a long journey through healing to be where I am today. To love myself
at the level I do. To truly own who I am. To embrace all of me. To have a connection to Love. To have a connection to Source, the Universe, something bigger than me.
It's part of what led me to serve in this way. It is my mission to guide and show everyone who is ready to Love and feel deep Love the way there taking all I've learned over the years and summarizing it into a proven, successful process. It doesn't have to take a long time - it does take courage, determination, and desire to want more than what you have. Resistance comes up, your ego will scream at it's impending annihilation. It's temporary. With your eye and heart focused on where you want to be, you'll get there. It will be my honor to support and guide you on the path and journey to true Love.